Dhriti Maharatna 14 - When is your birthday?
Memory is weird. Some people can remember every single element on the periodic table, others can remember historical facts no one cares about. I can remember birthdays. That’s it. Names? Gone. Important dates in history? Forget about it. But if you tell me your birthday, I will remember it, even if I forget who you are.
It’s honestly really weird. I’ve had conversations where someone reintroduces themselves, and I nod along as if I know who they are, while in the back of my mind, I’m trying to recall any interaction I have ever had with them. And yet, I’ll know without a doubt that their birthday is August 7th.
This is not a useful skill. No one is ever really excited when you say, “I have no idea what your last name is, but tell your sister I say happy belated birthday, I know her birthday was on June 19th!” or "Tell your mom I hope she had a happy 50th! I know her birthday was exactly three months ago on January 2nd." In school, my teachers expect me to memorize historical dates—like the year the Declaration of Independence was signed, or when World War II ended—but those facts never stick. Meanwhile, I somehow memorized the birthday of my former art teacher's student's brother's birthday, September 9th, mind you I still don't know his name.
It took me years to remember how to spell my grandfather’s name. Years. I would hesitate every time, second-guessing whether I had the right number of letters. But ask me when his birthday is? Oh, that’s easy. April 3rd. That information settled into my brain instantly, no struggle required. Why? No idea. Apparently, my brain just decided that was the useful part.
And it’s not just family. I have been texting an old elementary school friend happy birthday every year on August 9th. She moved away in fourth grade. It is extremely awkward every time, mostly because I don't know anything about her anymore, including her last name.
Memory, as it turns out, is not just about what we choose to remember—it’s about what chooses to stay. I can’t force myself to remember the periodic table or historical events, but birthdays? They latch on like I signed some kind of lifelong contract. Maybe this says something about the way my brain prioritizes personal connections over abstract facts, or maybe I was just meant to be the human version of a birthday calendar. Either way, if we ever meet and you tell me your birthday, congratulations—I’ll remember it forever. Just don’t expect me to remember anything else.
Hi Dhriti! Your blog was really fun to read and I soon realized that I also often remember people’s birthdays over other facts about them. Similar to you, it took me really long to remember how to spell my mom’s name correctly since I would always mix her “v” with “w” (I was a good kid I promise). It’s almost funny to me that you can remember birthday dates so easily over other things such as historical dates which are important to remember but honestly, I can completely understand that feeling. Just like you, I find myself remembering things that I don’t really need to over other more important things. These are often the most random things about others too such as their pets names or even other random information about them. This often confuses me too and I’m also left wondering how this happens. I found it really interesting you decided to point out August 7th and June 19th too, I wonder whose birthdays are on those days! I enjoyed your blog though and hope to sit with you in the final stretch of the school year.
ReplyDeleteHi Dhriti, I actually have a very similar case to you except its the exact opposite. While you have a great memory of birthdays, I have a great memory of everything else about a person, including their class schedule. Many people including you know that I used to have a spreadsheet with everyone's schedules and while this is weird, the even weirder thing is that I would probably know everyone's schedules even without the spreadsheet. My mind immediately remembers the most minute details that someone tells me so if you complain about your fourth period class to me, that will go into my mental storage and I will have that information readily available next time I talk to you. However, while you remember birthdays really well, that is one thing I have always struggled with. I can probably name the month you were born in, but the day...forget about it. I literally only know the birthdays of my extremely close friends and family. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your blog because I could relate to it on many levels but at the same time learn a new perspective on people's memories.
ReplyDeleteHi Dhriti! Just like Ruhi, I have the exact opposite case that you have: remembering everything about them, whether its what they look like, random phrases they have said before, or even the smallest interactions we had before, but just not birthdays. Sometimes, I would run into an old acquaintance after a couple of years not seeing them and realize that we shared a few elementary classes, had quite a few small conversations, and notice how their outfits and personality may have changed from before. However, I would definitely have no recollection of when their birthday is, and occasionally, I would even forget their name. It's such a strange feeling remembering all these vivid details about someone, like how they reacted to a joke that was mentioned before or how they always wore a Minecraft zip-up jacket back in fifth grade, but drawing a complete blank when it comes to something as simple and important as they name or birthday. Memory works in such unpredictable ways; some moments seem to leave lasting impressions while others just slip through the cracks of our minds. I loved reading your blog, as I could definitely relate to it incredibly, and hope to read more of your blogs in the near future!
ReplyDeleteHi Dhriti! I found your blog hilarious because I am your complete opposite. Whereas you remember birthdays above all, I can’t for the life of me remember birthdays. Upon being told when someone’s birthday is, I’ll have to put it in my calendar otherwise I’ll forget. I don’t use the camera app often, but it is flooded with birthdays and reminders. It took me years to remember the birthdays of my immediate family and close friends, and I still can’t remember birthdays of extended family or my other friends. However, I can relate to you in the sense that I’ll remember the most random bits of information rather than what I really need to know. The other day I was taking a math test, and instead of remembering how to complete equations, all I had swirling around in my brain were scenes from a movie I’d seen years ago. I think your memory of birthdays is fascinating, and a more useful tool than you may think it is. You’re able to keep past connections, such as your old elementary school friend, and create bonds based on your memory of someone’s birthday. That’s an amazing ability.
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